I live in Ontario, and recently they passed a law banning the use of handheld devices for emailing or calling.
While I totally understand the safety issues around being distracted while talking to your Mother, husband, boss, or other significantly annoying people in your life, let alone trying to thumb out a quick message while shifting gears, this new law has not addressed the biggest distraction I face while driving.
You know what it is.
The kids.
They are, unfortunately, not "hands free", leaving them FREE to smack each other, poke each other, grab from each other, make obscene gestures to each other...even throw the occasional tennis ball at the driver. (
Note to Carol Brady - you always said "Don't play ball in the house"; what about the station wagon?)
And that's just their hands, let alone their mouths.
Is there anything more distracting than listening to a conversation between your children that includes the phrases:
- I can't believe you spilled that. Dad's going to kill you.
- Is that poo?
- Look at this video on my iPod. Ignore the naked parts.
- Shhh. Mom's going to hear.
- And another reason why I know you're adopted?
I also wonder if the whole movement wasn't started by the paper manufacturers. Now, instead of being able to look up street directions I have handily placed within my BlackBerry calendar (at a stop light/BlackBerry pitstop), I have to print everything out, as apparently looking at something on paper is allowed, while on a screen it isn't.
Now excuse me while I have to go print a sign for my kids that says:
"Keep your hands to yourself...it's the law!"
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
This Doesn't Suck
Was asked this week to contribute a guest blog to EightDaysAWeek, a.k.a. Vampire Smitten.
Here it is:
Tricks or Treats:
What a treat being asked to write a guest blog the day before Halloween. As my own readers might know, I consider my BlackBerry to be my fifth child, and have even considered dressing him up for Halloween. But, seeing as I can’t seem to get my real, live children ready every year on time, I decided instead that I would look at the ways that my BlackBerry provides me with tricks, and treats, almost every day of the year.
Some of his tricks:
- The phantom vibration – you know what I mean – you think you’re getting the buzz of a fresh new message – until you look down and realize your BlackBerry is not on your belt, but is across the room on the kitchen counter. (I like to call these Braxberry-Hicks. Those of you who have given birth will understand that one.)
- Sending me a buzzing confirmation that an email has come in…only to discover he’s just letting me know my last VERY IMPORTANT email didn’t get sent out.
- Letting me believe I could actually beat my highest score in BrickBreaker. I had FIVE flippin balls left for this one stage alone.
- Pretending to die but popping back to life with just a quick battery re-insertion (like a defibulator for the little guy)
But he also has some treats:
- Sending me an email with the subject line “Wine tonight?” just minutes after a previously scheduled late day meeting has been cancelled. You already have a sitter or spouse lined up. Score.
- Finding a new application for a new game which will keep you from having to listen to THOSE women at THAT gym class.
- A full battery, Twitter, and a quiet moment at a park while the kids play.
Happy Halloween – and remember – if the chocolate bar is smaller than your BlackBerry, the calories don’t count.
Here it is:
Tricks or Treats:
What a treat being asked to write a guest blog the day before Halloween. As my own readers might know, I consider my BlackBerry to be my fifth child, and have even considered dressing him up for Halloween. But, seeing as I can’t seem to get my real, live children ready every year on time, I decided instead that I would look at the ways that my BlackBerry provides me with tricks, and treats, almost every day of the year.
Some of his tricks:
- The phantom vibration – you know what I mean – you think you’re getting the buzz of a fresh new message – until you look down and realize your BlackBerry is not on your belt, but is across the room on the kitchen counter. (I like to call these Braxberry-Hicks. Those of you who have given birth will understand that one.)
- Sending me a buzzing confirmation that an email has come in…only to discover he’s just letting me know my last VERY IMPORTANT email didn’t get sent out.
- Letting me believe I could actually beat my highest score in BrickBreaker. I had FIVE flippin balls left for this one stage alone.
- Pretending to die but popping back to life with just a quick battery re-insertion (like a defibulator for the little guy)
But he also has some treats:
- Sending me an email with the subject line “Wine tonight?” just minutes after a previously scheduled late day meeting has been cancelled. You already have a sitter or spouse lined up. Score.
- Finding a new application for a new game which will keep you from having to listen to THOSE women at THAT gym class.
- A full battery, Twitter, and a quiet moment at a park while the kids play.
Happy Halloween – and remember – if the chocolate bar is smaller than your BlackBerry, the calories don’t count.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Girl Power
Wow - just spent the last two days at the Women's Conference in Long Beach, California. Spearheaded by Maria Shriver (and supported by her husband, what's-his-name), this inspirational and educational conference was nothing short of amazing.
But I'm going to back up just a minute. Prior to arriving in Long Beach, I had the opportunity to attend the U2 concert at the Rose Bowl. Have never been to an event this big. About 100,000 people in attendance. Best moment was the opening act, the Black Eyed Peas (Fergie's voice is absolutely incredible, fyi)asking the audience to do a "light wave" with their BlackBerrys/cellphones.
I saw Ben Stiller come in with his wife, Christine Taylor. From where I sat it looked like they were having a bit of a domestic with him storming ahead. They were closely followed by Paris Hilton and her boyfriend-du-jour, hair flicking and posing all the way. They were followed by Will.I.Am who stuck around to see the main act.
U2 was great - you probably all watched it online on YouTube so I'll leave it at that. If they at any point had a satellite view of the arena, yes that was me walking barefoot through the arena, parking lot, and onto the shuttle bus, holding my broken shoe, which was the only negative note, but one I easily can live with.
Back to the Women's Show, which I was invited to attend by the fabulous folks at Verizon and BlackBerry. I signed books - about 75 in ten minutes both days, which was awesome. I loved meeting a bunch of BlackBerry addicted Moms just like myself.
And, for some fun, here are my observations of the many celebrities in attendance:
- Annie Liebowitz had the longest line for her book signing, of anyone. Her books sold out in 10 minutes
- Kate Gosselin really does have THAT hair. She looked crabby and was surrounded by four security guards, including THAT one.
- Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzennegger are both excellent speakers. When asked where he goes to get advice on big decisions he said "To the Almighty. My wife, Maria."
- Richard Branson needs to update his blond beach boy look. A lot. And perhaps watch what he says to a room full of empowered, intelligent women. Saying that boards should be "mandated" to have at least 50% women on them went over like a lead balloon to this "we want to earn it" crowd.
- Eve Ensler (writer, the Vagina Monologues) was fantastic, delivering her "I am an emotional creature". Best quote "No one is really charge, not even the ones pretending to be." And yelling "I'm a girl!!!" at the end. Loved it.
- Women were absolutely swooning over Dr. Oz. I just don't get it. Was advised to sneeze on him. Should have. Just skipped his speech instead.
- Jillian Michaels - amazing body - crappy speaker - "Own those feelings." Be quiet.
- Other famous peeps I loved getting a glimpse of:
Peter Kennedy Lawford (still cute), Don Lemmon, CNN (also cute), Madeline Albright, Paula Zahn, Paula Deen, Jane Goodall, Susan Saint James and Lisa Niemi.
There were many other people there who would be recognizable to most of the population, but one of the ones who wasn't, was Somaly Mam, who was the most inspiring woman I've seen speak in years. She told her incredible and heart breaking story about coming from a brothel in Cambodia, to becoming the human rights activist she is today.
You can check all of it out on-line at www.womensconference.org
You can check me out on board the Queen Mary tonight, having dinner and my own Titanic glass of wine.
(And here's a glimpse of my real life - I contemplated staying one more day to take in some more California sun after I realized the only thing on my schedule for Thursday is my son's orthodontist appointment. Until I spoke with my daughter today who told me how excited she was about me coming home tomorrow. I know it's just her expecting a gift, but I'll take it.)
But I'm going to back up just a minute. Prior to arriving in Long Beach, I had the opportunity to attend the U2 concert at the Rose Bowl. Have never been to an event this big. About 100,000 people in attendance. Best moment was the opening act, the Black Eyed Peas (Fergie's voice is absolutely incredible, fyi)asking the audience to do a "light wave" with their BlackBerrys/cellphones.
I saw Ben Stiller come in with his wife, Christine Taylor. From where I sat it looked like they were having a bit of a domestic with him storming ahead. They were closely followed by Paris Hilton and her boyfriend-du-jour, hair flicking and posing all the way. They were followed by Will.I.Am who stuck around to see the main act.
U2 was great - you probably all watched it online on YouTube so I'll leave it at that. If they at any point had a satellite view of the arena, yes that was me walking barefoot through the arena, parking lot, and onto the shuttle bus, holding my broken shoe, which was the only negative note, but one I easily can live with.
Back to the Women's Show, which I was invited to attend by the fabulous folks at Verizon and BlackBerry. I signed books - about 75 in ten minutes both days, which was awesome. I loved meeting a bunch of BlackBerry addicted Moms just like myself.
And, for some fun, here are my observations of the many celebrities in attendance:
- Annie Liebowitz had the longest line for her book signing, of anyone. Her books sold out in 10 minutes
- Kate Gosselin really does have THAT hair. She looked crabby and was surrounded by four security guards, including THAT one.
- Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzennegger are both excellent speakers. When asked where he goes to get advice on big decisions he said "To the Almighty. My wife, Maria."
- Richard Branson needs to update his blond beach boy look. A lot. And perhaps watch what he says to a room full of empowered, intelligent women. Saying that boards should be "mandated" to have at least 50% women on them went over like a lead balloon to this "we want to earn it" crowd.
- Eve Ensler (writer, the Vagina Monologues) was fantastic, delivering her "I am an emotional creature". Best quote "No one is really charge, not even the ones pretending to be." And yelling "I'm a girl!!!" at the end. Loved it.
- Women were absolutely swooning over Dr. Oz. I just don't get it. Was advised to sneeze on him. Should have. Just skipped his speech instead.
- Jillian Michaels - amazing body - crappy speaker - "Own those feelings." Be quiet.
- Other famous peeps I loved getting a glimpse of:
Peter Kennedy Lawford (still cute), Don Lemmon, CNN (also cute), Madeline Albright, Paula Zahn, Paula Deen, Jane Goodall, Susan Saint James and Lisa Niemi.
There were many other people there who would be recognizable to most of the population, but one of the ones who wasn't, was Somaly Mam, who was the most inspiring woman I've seen speak in years. She told her incredible and heart breaking story about coming from a brothel in Cambodia, to becoming the human rights activist she is today.
You can check all of it out on-line at www.womensconference.org
You can check me out on board the Queen Mary tonight, having dinner and my own Titanic glass of wine.
(And here's a glimpse of my real life - I contemplated staying one more day to take in some more California sun after I realized the only thing on my schedule for Thursday is my son's orthodontist appointment. Until I spoke with my daughter today who told me how excited she was about me coming home tomorrow. I know it's just her expecting a gift, but I'll take it.)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Who Has Time To Write?
Here in Glendale, California on the last leg of the BlackBerry Diaries US book tour, after stops in Boston, Bridgewater, Las Vegas, and Atlanta.
Yesterday, we decided to mix it up a bit and have another author join me on stage. Irene Zutell, a former People magazine writer who confided to me that the celebrities you think are nice, really aren't (name names Irene!) has just released her third book "Pieces of Happily Ever After", and she generously agreed to share her Saturday afternoon with us. She read from the book and we had a fun time on stage chatting about how to find time to write while balancing our family lives. We also found out our books kept each other up late reading before the show (her book is really great - she actually mentions a BlackBerry in the first paragraph - we were meant to meet).
Irene has two young girls, who, along with their Dad, joined us at the show. Irene finds her best writing time is late at night. (I'm like "after 11 you mean?" She says "11 is pretty early for me."). I find that first thing in the morning, before the kids get up, is my best writing time. And I write in 20 minute increments. Truthfully. It's all part of the blended life I keep talking to Moms about, on this tour.
We asked some Moms in the audience to share why they are thankful they have children in their lives (with US Thanksgiving coming up next month), and more than one Mom said she was thankful because it made her think about something other than work.
Luckily, my kids are IN my work, so I can think about them all the time and it can be considered "doing research". As can, hopefully, the hour I wasted this morning watching MTV's "The Blingingest Sweet 16 Birthday Parties Ever". I no longer think I spoil my children, fyi, if I ever did.
I also consider my time spent on Twitter to be great research and insight into the lives of the busy Moms (and a few Dads) that I follow. It is amazing that what some people can get across in 140 characters or less.
As we head into our final two events this afternoon, I feel thankful that I've been able to share so many fun moments with Moms, my RIM peeps (affectionately known as Sarah "Miss America", and Adam "The Tall Josh Grobin"), as well as the amazing women at Weber Shandwick out of Seattle, most specifically KPo and JRuck (I'm KBuck...it's a long story.)
Off to Long Beach tonight, to take part in the Women's Conference, starting tomorrow, courtesy of my friends at Verizon, and RIM.
I wonder if they'd consider partnering up for my next book "Shut Up & Eat", as I transition from BlackBerrys to blackberries. Anybody listening? Campbells Soup team? Kraft Dinner people? Call me.
Now back to some more research...I think they're counting down the Top Celebrity Baby Showers next.
Yesterday, we decided to mix it up a bit and have another author join me on stage. Irene Zutell, a former People magazine writer who confided to me that the celebrities you think are nice, really aren't (name names Irene!) has just released her third book "Pieces of Happily Ever After", and she generously agreed to share her Saturday afternoon with us. She read from the book and we had a fun time on stage chatting about how to find time to write while balancing our family lives. We also found out our books kept each other up late reading before the show (her book is really great - she actually mentions a BlackBerry in the first paragraph - we were meant to meet).
Irene has two young girls, who, along with their Dad, joined us at the show. Irene finds her best writing time is late at night. (I'm like "after 11 you mean?" She says "11 is pretty early for me."). I find that first thing in the morning, before the kids get up, is my best writing time. And I write in 20 minute increments. Truthfully. It's all part of the blended life I keep talking to Moms about, on this tour.
We asked some Moms in the audience to share why they are thankful they have children in their lives (with US Thanksgiving coming up next month), and more than one Mom said she was thankful because it made her think about something other than work.
Luckily, my kids are IN my work, so I can think about them all the time and it can be considered "doing research". As can, hopefully, the hour I wasted this morning watching MTV's "The Blingingest Sweet 16 Birthday Parties Ever". I no longer think I spoil my children, fyi, if I ever did.
I also consider my time spent on Twitter to be great research and insight into the lives of the busy Moms (and a few Dads) that I follow. It is amazing that what some people can get across in 140 characters or less.
As we head into our final two events this afternoon, I feel thankful that I've been able to share so many fun moments with Moms, my RIM peeps (affectionately known as Sarah "Miss America", and Adam "The Tall Josh Grobin"), as well as the amazing women at Weber Shandwick out of Seattle, most specifically KPo and JRuck (I'm KBuck...it's a long story.)
Off to Long Beach tonight, to take part in the Women's Conference, starting tomorrow, courtesy of my friends at Verizon, and RIM.
I wonder if they'd consider partnering up for my next book "Shut Up & Eat", as I transition from BlackBerrys to blackberries. Anybody listening? Campbells Soup team? Kraft Dinner people? Call me.
Now back to some more research...I think they're counting down the Top Celebrity Baby Showers next.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
California Here We Come
Me and Seamus, that is.
My little BlackBerry buddy and I are heading out on the road (or in the air) once again, as we prepare to visit Glendale, California for two days of book signing events, and then on to the Women's Conference in Long Beach, hosted by Maria Shriver and featuring an extensive list of amazing speakers and celebrities. And me.
Now, I'm a little worried about taking this pasty Canadian body out to the west coast, to the land of the well-known and well-sewn, so I've taken the following precautions:
- The emergency pedi. Yes, there is such a thing. Had one yesterday.
- The attempt at colour. Have spread one layer of self-tanning foam on anticipated exposed limbs. Hoping I don't turn orange, but on positive side have a cool segueway into sharing some never-used jaundice advice with new Moms.
- Have explored and rejected the Botox option. Fingers now crossed for a botulism ban at Toronto's Pearson Airport which gets me to the front of the US Customs Line. Plus, I actually do look like my Passport photo right now. No, it's not a good picture. Thanks for asking.
- Am using 7 year old son's natural "Kate Gosselin hair" bedhead as prototype model to restrain myself from licking hand and patting it down, should I run into her during her book signing at the conference.
- Hoping Mario Lopez will put on 20 pounds of fat and lose his abs prior to Monday, when he is scheduled to show women how to dance (and sign his book), AT THE SAME TIME they could be visiting ME in the Verizon booth. Whatever.
- Have several tricks planned to get Valerie Bertinelli to fall off her diet and once again lower the bar for all us Moms over 45.
With any luck, no one will ever know I'm Canadian.
On the other hand, I hope they do.
My little BlackBerry buddy and I are heading out on the road (or in the air) once again, as we prepare to visit Glendale, California for two days of book signing events, and then on to the Women's Conference in Long Beach, hosted by Maria Shriver and featuring an extensive list of amazing speakers and celebrities. And me.
Now, I'm a little worried about taking this pasty Canadian body out to the west coast, to the land of the well-known and well-sewn, so I've taken the following precautions:
- The emergency pedi. Yes, there is such a thing. Had one yesterday.
- The attempt at colour. Have spread one layer of self-tanning foam on anticipated exposed limbs. Hoping I don't turn orange, but on positive side have a cool segueway into sharing some never-used jaundice advice with new Moms.
- Have explored and rejected the Botox option. Fingers now crossed for a botulism ban at Toronto's Pearson Airport which gets me to the front of the US Customs Line. Plus, I actually do look like my Passport photo right now. No, it's not a good picture. Thanks for asking.
- Am using 7 year old son's natural "Kate Gosselin hair" bedhead as prototype model to restrain myself from licking hand and patting it down, should I run into her during her book signing at the conference.
- Hoping Mario Lopez will put on 20 pounds of fat and lose his abs prior to Monday, when he is scheduled to show women how to dance (and sign his book), AT THE SAME TIME they could be visiting ME in the Verizon booth. Whatever.
- Have several tricks planned to get Valerie Bertinelli to fall off her diet and once again lower the bar for all us Moms over 45.
With any luck, no one will ever know I'm Canadian.
On the other hand, I hope they do.
Monday, October 19, 2009
From Alphagetti, to Alpharetta, and Back Again
Even though the weather in Atlanta was unseasonably cold (and no, I didn't bring it with me, y'all), I had a terrific time in the fabulous suburb of Alpharetta Georgia during the latest leg of my BlackBerry Diaries tour.
We gave away about 20 BlackBerrys, hundreds of books, and met so many terrific Moms, Dads, Grandparents...and a staggering amount of twins as well. Is there something in the water there? I also met an Irish playwright, the world's most enthusiastic Pilates instructor, and the woman who runs www.freebirthdaystuff.com (she's doing Ellen's birthday show!)
After the book events, we had the chance to eat some amazing food (my jeans are still not thanking me), and I snuck in a whole day to explore Atlanta.
My observations:
CNN - we got to listen in on the control desk, see the main CNN newsroom at work, visit HLN and stare into the eyes of a full size Nancy Grace cut out. Yikes.
One of the most interesting things (for me), was that the 8 story escalator which runs up through the atrium of the CNN Centre, is not only the world's longest free-standing escalator, but came from the failed amusement park, The World Of Sid & Marty Kroft, most famous for their H R Pufnstuff show. While many on the tour were asking about Anderson Cooper's whereabouts (he broadcasts from NYC people) and took pictures of themselves behind mock CNN news desks, I imagined myself standing in Jack Wilde's footprints.
World of Coke - My time was limited, so I made sure I got to the Coke store, which was awesome, but I passed on the $36 tour. Seriously? Give me Rum&Coke World and then maybe I'll do it.
My trolley bus tour took me past Margaret Mitchell's house (she was killed by a drunk driver at the age of 49 and was a huge philanthropist for the city's educational funds), and the sobering and powerful King Centre, where I stood in front of Martin Luther King Jr and Coretta Scott King's grave site.
Witnessed some awesome tailgating parties - starting at 8:00 in the morning - for the Bears/Falcons game. Like it was a big deal or something...who won?
Ate a delicious lunch of mussels and fresh salmon at Legal Seafood, which was located just one block from the impressive Georgia Aquarium...hey wait a minute...
And yes, Chick-Fil-A is as good as they say. Better, maybe.
I'm left with just one question after my day's worth of Atlanta...why are there 49 streets in town that start with Peachtree?
Anyway back to real life now - my own, bad tasting, low calorie food, working, and work-outs. Sigh.
Good thing I'm leaving for Los Angeles on Friday, for two days at the Glendale Galleria Mall (Oct 24/25), and then the Women's Conference in Long Beach (Oct 26/27).
Now where did I put those Spanx?
We gave away about 20 BlackBerrys, hundreds of books, and met so many terrific Moms, Dads, Grandparents...and a staggering amount of twins as well. Is there something in the water there? I also met an Irish playwright, the world's most enthusiastic Pilates instructor, and the woman who runs www.freebirthdaystuff.com (she's doing Ellen's birthday show!)
After the book events, we had the chance to eat some amazing food (my jeans are still not thanking me), and I snuck in a whole day to explore Atlanta.
My observations:
CNN - we got to listen in on the control desk, see the main CNN newsroom at work, visit HLN and stare into the eyes of a full size Nancy Grace cut out. Yikes.
One of the most interesting things (for me), was that the 8 story escalator which runs up through the atrium of the CNN Centre, is not only the world's longest free-standing escalator, but came from the failed amusement park, The World Of Sid & Marty Kroft, most famous for their H R Pufnstuff show. While many on the tour were asking about Anderson Cooper's whereabouts (he broadcasts from NYC people) and took pictures of themselves behind mock CNN news desks, I imagined myself standing in Jack Wilde's footprints.
World of Coke - My time was limited, so I made sure I got to the Coke store, which was awesome, but I passed on the $36 tour. Seriously? Give me Rum&Coke World and then maybe I'll do it.
My trolley bus tour took me past Margaret Mitchell's house (she was killed by a drunk driver at the age of 49 and was a huge philanthropist for the city's educational funds), and the sobering and powerful King Centre, where I stood in front of Martin Luther King Jr and Coretta Scott King's grave site.
Witnessed some awesome tailgating parties - starting at 8:00 in the morning - for the Bears/Falcons game. Like it was a big deal or something...who won?
Ate a delicious lunch of mussels and fresh salmon at Legal Seafood, which was located just one block from the impressive Georgia Aquarium...hey wait a minute...
And yes, Chick-Fil-A is as good as they say. Better, maybe.
I'm left with just one question after my day's worth of Atlanta...why are there 49 streets in town that start with Peachtree?
Anyway back to real life now - my own, bad tasting, low calorie food, working, and work-outs. Sigh.
Good thing I'm leaving for Los Angeles on Friday, for two days at the Glendale Galleria Mall (Oct 24/25), and then the Women's Conference in Long Beach (Oct 26/27).
Now where did I put those Spanx?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Because I'm Canadian
While I'm enjoying my travels through the US (currently in Alpharetta Georgia) on the BlackBerry Diaries Book Tour, here's a little reminder of my Canadian roots.
It's all about the hockey, whether I like it or not.
My latest post for Health & Harmony chronicles my journey from what it's like as a young Canadian girl in a hockey arena...all the way up to the oft-parodied and oft-misunderstood, Hockey Mom.
Read it here: http://www.healthharmony.ca/Kathy-Buckworth
Looking forward to meeting some more Georgia Moms tomorrow at the North Point Mall - while my husband carries on with hockey duties north of the border.
It's all about the hockey, whether I like it or not.
My latest post for Health & Harmony chronicles my journey from what it's like as a young Canadian girl in a hockey arena...all the way up to the oft-parodied and oft-misunderstood, Hockey Mom.
Read it here: http://www.healthharmony.ca/Kathy-Buckworth
Looking forward to meeting some more Georgia Moms tomorrow at the North Point Mall - while my husband carries on with hockey duties north of the border.
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