There's been a bit of debate lately about a supposedly "new" parenting phenomenon which is basically a backlash against the over-parenting which has been happening since about the early 1990's. This funky new slacker parenting style is being lauded as "getting back to basics" and "seeing the big picture".
I say it's just giving our heads a big ol' shake and using some common sense.
I support this common sense revolution.
I have never been accused of overparenting - in fact I once had one of my children say to me "Why can't you overparent like his Mom? She must really love him."
To which I replied "Well he's going to need that Mother's love when he's living in her gluten-free basement, eating his organic vegetables and polishing his 27 rep hockey trophies, at the age of 35."
Okay so maybe I'm a little harsh. But to their advantage, I'm also the Mom who let my seven year old son start his own dog walking business, thus cornering the market for kids his age. This enterprise however of course resulted in other Moms phoning me to alert me that my son was seen alone a whole three blocks from home, unattended by an adult. My response? "He's not alone - he has a dog with him. And if he doesn't, boy is he in trouble with someone."
It's hard not to be cynical when you see Moms and Dads around you doing the following things I have witnessed:
1) Going into the child's swimming lesson with them, because they don't trust the instructor to watch their seven year old at all times.
2) Wiping down every single wrapper of every single piece of Halloween candy because you "just never know about the longevity of that H1N1 germ". And their child was vaccinated.
3) Cutting the chicken off the bone so the kid doesn't choke. Said kid? Nine years old.
4) Not coming to a holiday party because they couldn't get a sitter. For their 13 and 10 year olds. (PS they don't "make" sitters for these ages - one of them IS a sitter, he just doesn't know it)
5) Getting the Junior Kindergarten ceremony to start over again, because they didn't get a good shot of the kids walking in to Pomp & Circumstance. I can tell you where all that "pomp" was, by the way. (PS There are no GRADUATES in Kindergarten! It's not mandatory to attend! They just MOVE ON to Grade 1 whether you like it or not!) Phew.
I'm not suggesting we have to go as far back as not having helmets for every reasonable head-banging sport, bouncing around in the back of pick up trucks, or even (gasp) sneezing into our hands, but I am thinking of repossessing a few "Participant" trophies. How common of me.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
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11 comments:
Finally, somebody who sees the utter absurdity in this overparenting crap. I had someone call me because they saw my kids (13 and 15) walking down a busy road...I kid you not.
Enjoy the blog..read your book and it made me pee my pants.
Cheers
jackie
So true - although I'll admit it's hard to find a balance (I was wiping my 5yo's butt till a few months ago!) - but moms like you, and sites like these (http://www.undergroundmoms.com/) help keep me grounded and laughing at "unrational" moments of parenting.
Talk to you later :)
http://www.yummymummyclub.ca
I love you.
FABULOUS as always! You make me feel so much better about myself.
I love it! So glad to know I'm not in the alone. Thanks for the comments ladies.
Kathy
See that's the thing with sense, it's not really all that common. One honors graduate of the CHP (NO not the California Highway Patrol! The College of Helicopter Parenting) actually CAME TO MY FRONT DOOR.. no phone calls for this "community activist" to ask me if I needed her to come pick up my 10 yr old daughter in the morning and walk her to the bus stop. She was rather concerned that my daughter was walking alone and standing alone at the bus stop. Yes I'll confess I'm a slacker mom. After all the bus stop is ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY DRIVE WAY and there are only about 7 parents there every morning. What I was I thinking? Standing at the window watching her until she gets on the bus is bordering on abandonment! Of course this comes from the woman who has to set the timer on her stove so she can be reminded to get off the computer and go pick up her 5 yr old from preschool. Three late pickup fees weren't good enough reminders.
WOOT for the slackers, their kids shall one day rule the world!
Common sense??? What a great idea...too bad so many others haven't thought of that. LOL!
Great post!
(be sure to check out http://www.thebadmomsclub.com/ I think you'll like it there!)
Insightful and reaffirming as always. You make me laugh and you reassure me I'm not alone in my "relaxed" parenting style. (I'm going with "relaxed" sounds like a spa.)
Keep up the great work! :-)
reading the comments was just as much fun as the Blog post!
Number one reason for parents downsizing in 2009.... so the kids couldn't move back in.
David Pylyp
Living in Toronto
I'm so on the slacker parent train. And guess what? DS is fine (well, mostly fine)! "We're" (okay obviously not us) so paranoid these days, that parents do everything for their kids and now our kids can't think for themselves.
LOVE all the comments on this post. We are definitely living in a "Parents Gone Wild" generation. I have to stop myself sometimes. My 18 year old just signed her first lease with 2 roommates and I have to stop myself from trying to meet their parents!
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